Today's Top Ten List

10. Tulips

9. Arcade Fire

8. Gain

7. Cheetos

6. Seinfeld

5. New running socks

4. Listening. Seriously. Talk to me.

3. Artificial Banana Flavor: Checker's milkshakes, Laffy Taffy, Moon Pies

2. Learning to spell the word "banana."

1. Sunshine... any day now.

I've Read That (Sorta)

I felt so guilty about telling you guys about Tess of the D'Ubervilles (the movie) without actually having read it.

So, I'm reading it. Online. But still. IT TOTALLY COUNTS!!

It got me thinking about other things I should have read, but just watched the movie.

(We are talking classics here. I watched AND read Timeline, but, wow, is that embarrassing.)



There are a few I have managed to read AND watch. For instance: Pride & Prejudice. Let's be honest, shall we? The book is missing Colin Firth.



Othello.



Hamlet.



Gone With The Wind (this counts as a classic, right?)




However, I am afraid my "movies-only" far outnumber those.

Merchant of Venice. Pacino!! Genius.



I'm counting 10 Things I Hate About You, based on Taming of the Shrew, because there is NO WAY I'm ever going to read it, and I really, really, really liked that movie.



Les Mis. (My favorite song...ever.)



Emma: Also known as Clueless. Here's two people who liked it, too.



Street Car Named Desire



Henry V
(Actually, DAD, I solemnly swear I have read this. I just have zero recollection. The movie, however, I remember.) Oh! See if you can spot a very young Christian Bale.




Ok. I could be here all day.

Anything you want to confess? Any movies instead of books?

My Answering Machine Is Blinking

My answering machine is blinking. It's all the way across the room, and I really want to go to sleep.

Also, I'm assuming it's just bad news, since no one really calls anymore unless something is terribly, terribly wrong. Or, it could be people are trying to get me to volunteer and/or buy something. (If it's good news, you tell me on Facebook.)

I have one of those weird, "stuff has to be a certain way before I can sleep," personalities. (Blinds down, not up, closet doors closed, dishwasher on, lunches made, clothes folded, double check appliances and locks ... this list is pretty long.)

Needless to say, "make sure the answering machine is not still blinking," is pretty high on the list.

Tonight, I'm going to leave it. I am considering it a test of character. I'm proving to myself that I'm not psychotic.

I could have just gotten up and pushed the button by now, but instead I'm talking to you guys about this.

This is slightly insane, right?

Also, if you called today, sorry. I was busy proving to myself that I'm not compulsive slash crazy.

Try again tomorrow.

Freedom of Speech

I took off the "must have Open ID" thingee, so if you want to leave a comment without a Google/Blogger account, now you may!

One nasty anonymous comment, ONE, and I'm taking it off... SO BE NICE!

But not fake nice, 'cause that would be wrong.

Also pertaining to free speech, I have had to stop using the "s word," around the little people now. No, not that word. "Stupid."

Saying something was stupid, however, most likely means that I was just complaining anyway. That's not so great for little people, either.

I've got a big writer's group coming up this weekend, with a big chunk of the YA novel due, so I'm off to work!

What can you not say at your house?

Write on!

Oh the madness...

What a crazy roller coaster of a week!

Last weekend, I had what may have been the best weekend of my whole life. In an attempt to live fully, celebrate the fact that, as my pastor said, "I'm not dead yet," and act not-like-a-ninety-year-old, I went out and had fun.

It was fun that I should have been having ten years ago, but was too busy... I don't know. Being a grown-up.

So, yes, this weekend, I took my skinny jeans to the big city. As we were leaving our hotel room at 10:00 PM!! (normally, when I'm getting back in), the valet asked, "Going out to a late dinner or out to party?" I was able to answer, truthfully, gleefully, and with an almost straight face, "Both!"

Awesomeness.

Did I dance until 3:30? AM?!?! Yes I did. (I did fine. Nobody laughed, if that's what you are asking.)

I'm sorry... what was that? Did I go to a biker / dive bar, and take in a screaming metal show just for kicks? Yes I did.

Shocked? I know. Me too.

("There is a strange pathology among people who are serious about God, and it doesn't come from him. This particular view is that if it is good, fun, and enjoyable, it must be a sin. Don't you believe it. God is making you better because his desire is that you fulfill the purpose for which you were born: to love him and enjoy him forever." - Steve Brown)

And! I got my Ikea fix and bought my super cool bookshelves.

As soon as my feet were back on Planet Earth, kids were sick. The same day, my father-in-law went to the hospital. Two days later, he was able to come home. Whew!

As soon as he was home, my grandmother was admitted to the hospital.

My parents have family in and are now deciding the how/when/where of moving her (and her youngest son with Down's) out of her very independent, thank you very much, house.

For the last two months, I've been stuck in this weird, girl-on-fire feeling, which makes me feel a little wild-eyed and crazy. My sister is having a baby in two weeks. I'm trying to watch March Madness basketball fun stuff. (Oh, my poor, poor Mocs.) I'm running to baseball practice. I'm trying to find a quiet minute to write. I have a friend who is struggling. I'm trying to prepare a presentation about the modern persecuted church.

My poor mind and heart have no more directions in which to be pulled.

In all of this (the difficult stuff, not the dancing and basketball), I feel very helpless.

I keep reminding myself that "All I can do is pray."

After saying that, I ask myself, " What? 'All you can do?' You are approaching the king of the universe with everything that's on your heart! He is listening to YOU! That is not a little deal!"

Allllllrighty. I've got work to do here, people. I'm watching basketball in an attempt to avoid more martyr research.

Have a good weekend, everybody! Enjoy (rejoice! celebrate!) normalcy!

Mocs Pep Rally

Today is the big day!

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Go, Chattanooga!

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

This is my school, ya'll! Cheer them on! They need all the help they can get. Am I a loyal fan, or what?

Quote of the Day - Irish Edition!

"Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: He was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius.

But actually Christ doesn't allow you that. He doesn't let you off that hook. Christ says, No. I'm not saying I'm a teacher, don't call me teacher. I'm not saying I'm a prophet.

I'm saying: 'I'm the Messiah.' I'm saying: 'I am God incarnate.' . . .

So what you're left with is either Christ was who He said He was—the Messiah—or a complete nutcase. . . The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me that's far fetched." - Bono

......

"Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C.S. Lewis

.....

"Remember that you are a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech: that your native language is the language of Shakespeare and Milton and The Bible; and don't sit there crooning like a bilious pigeon." - George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion
.....

The Kitchen Sink

RUNNING

I'm trying to stop talking about this. It makes me feel self-righteous and annoying, and nobody wants that. The only way to get this out of the way and over with is to ...uhh... get it out of the way and over with.

Something.

Anyway, yes, I am still running. Yes, I am going to do a marathon in November. Yes, you should do it with me. Yes, after that I must get my life back! All right. I'm going to do New York and Atlanta and THEN I must get my life back. After I qualify for Boston. BUT THAT IS IT!!

FACEBOOK

Why did this stop being fun? When I stopped throwing sheep at people and saving the rain forest on calla lily at a time and after I found everyone I know, it very suddenly lost the cool factor for me. Now they are going to change the home page AGAIN, after I just got the latest edition figured out. NEW Facebook stinks, and I'm sure the next one will only be worse. And And And!! What kind of crazy PR person handled the Terms of Agreement fiasco? ARGH!

I'm about to go back to email.

PERFECT CHRISTIANS WITH SHINY, SHINY TEETH

This is everything you have ever wanted to know about judging people. I like her. She's been added to the blogroll, and I think she's crazy funny. She says bad words and she drinks and she's not perfect and she's growing in her faith. She is delightfully honest. I hope you like her, too.

SHINY, SHINY KITCHEN SINKS

I didn't really plan on talking about kitchen sinks, but if you want a really shiny one (and trust me, you do), read this.

I think that's it! I'm on a blogcation till Tuesday, so ya'll have a good weekend!

Flippin' Sweet Parenting Skills

This is so wrong... on SO MANY LEVELS!

I let the big kid watch this on ESPN. This is wrong, right?

I have a feeling good parents don't do this to their children.


The next day, he says this:

"I've been working on some cool moves. I'll show you after lunch."

And he did.

Oh, the dancing. It was a mix of stomp, America's Best Dance Crew (because that's how we roll), and "The Elaine." Poor kid.

Brio Means Full of Life

Do you guys (and by "you guys," I really mean "you girls:" growing up in the Christian sub-culture females, between the ages of 15 - 35) remember Brio?

Ever since I was just a kid, I wanted to write for them. Sadly, I have only quite a nice collection of rejection letters.

I just heard that the magazine has folded. This closing is yet another casualty of the disaster-economy.

It's so sad! Brio taught me a lot about real life issues that my parents turned a blind eye toward. It was one of my favorite things... and now ... I don't know. I am sad for them, and sad they lost their jobs. I am sad for all the girls who don't get to read it anymore. Also, I am sad for me because the dream is gone. I need another set of editors to dream about.

Another part of me is saying, "Yeah, take THAT Brio. I should have gotten an acceptance letter!" But that would be wrong.

Alton Brown's Buffalo Wings

I made hot wings. Not to brag or nothin', but... They. Were. Awesome.


Since I have tried and failed at these before, I finally admitted my failure and went to the master: Sir Alton Brown.


It was work! I made a mess. Things caught fire. I had to open windows. But the wings? Delish!


If you really want to know how to make these yourself, because they are just so darn embarrassing to eat in public, here you go!


Using a steaming basket, steam wings for ten minutes. (This allows some of the fat to drain, and keeps the oven from smoking. Hypothetically.)


Pat dry. Place paper towels on a baking sheet. Place cooling rack on top of paper towels. Place wings on cooling rack. Place the whole thing in the fridge for an hour.


I'm getting tired just thinking about all this again. Feel free to start drinking at this point in the process.


Heat oven to 425.


Keep the wings on the cooling racks. Replace paper towels with parchment paper. Bake 20 minutes. Flip. The wings, not you. Bake 20 minutes more. I added ten more minutes to my time, but do whatever you feel like doing. At this point, if you have been drinking enough, it really won't matter.


OK! You are almost finished! Grab the fire extinguisher, just in case. Toss the wings in giant bowl of your favorite sauce and your done! I used something from a bottle, just because I had it on hand, but buffalo wing sauce in not hard. Three ounces of melted butter and 1/4 cup of hot sauce.

...Butter and hot sauce... the world's two most perfect foods, blended together, in a perfect combination of junk food heaven. Add in a little beer, a small oven fire, and the evening is complete.

Oh, Ya'll...

Nashville was just ranked the "manliest city."

The criteria?

The study judged criteria like professional major league sports teams, popularity of tools and hardware, and frequency of monster truck rallies.

Aren't you dying to know what makes a city "feminine"? Tea rooms and knitting stores?

Sheesh.

What do you think? What makes for a manly city? Think Nashville deserves the title? What's a good city for girls?

Enough About Me...

I am tired of talking about myself.

Tell me what's going on.

What's new in the world? What are you thinking about today? What's your status update say? Who are you thinking about? Care about The Bachelor fiasco much? Want to yell about politics? Want to yell about publicity-stunt-Tatiana del Crazy on American Idol? Octomom? McNugget 911 lady? Stupid news that covers these stupid stories?

What are you reading?

What three things have you never done that you still want to do? (Tattoo, out dancing {how have I never done this??}, nose ring. We can throw in karaoke, but NOBODY wants to hear me sing. Would you look at that? I managed to wiggle myself right back into the conversation. It's a gift.)

Want a link? What's your website?

WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? I REALLY WANNA KNOW!

M.L.B.

The big kid has been begging, BEGGING, to play baseball.

I have resisted, despite the cute little kids having a blast playing in the dirt, and swinging but missing the t-ball thingee, because... well, just because. If I can get out of anything that involves time and money, I will.

Ask (and ask and ask and ask and ask) and ye shall receive: the boy is signed up for baseball this year. He's actually pretty good (says everymom). He can hit a pitch and doesn't run from the ball like... some other people in his family. (Shut up! Those things hurt!)

So, our baseball league sent home a single, solitary, innocuous piece of paper that has earth shattering consequences.

If I don't "volunteer" to work the concession stand, I have to pay a fee. TO WATCH LITTLE LEAGUE!! It also asks us to sell raffle tickets. Now this organizations asks for money like the mafia asks for money.

Mafia League Baseball.

If we don't manage to sell these raffle tickets, we have to pay a fee. I am pretty sure this means that if I don't manage to sell these suckers (wrangle dollar bills from twenty of my closest friends and neighbors), I have to give the Family, er, club, money without a chance of winning anything.

On top of the forced labor and raffle racket, this little piece of paper also asks for "donations" for the concession stand that I am required to work. It's like an offer I can't refuse.

Here's cute stuff... the reason we keep showing up and paying fees.

May their first child be a masculine child.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

RACE

Oh, the race was fantastic! And by fantastic, I mean wet and miserable! It's fantastic that it is over.

I have to say... those ultra-marathons are never, NEVER going to happen. EVER.

It rained non-stop; my shoes were squishy! I was able to run the entire race and my time was 2:49. It's not great, but IT RAINED THE WHOLE TIME! I went into it with very little sleep (so nervous!), sick (no voice today), and oddly emotional.

My family, who I had asked repeatedly not to come (cold and raining... I wouldn't have shown up for me!), surprised me with cards and cheers at the finish line!! Sometimes, just having someone show up when you least expect it makes everything better.

LENT

I asked the better half if he had any ideas on what I should be giving up this year.

Him: "No, that's why I'm not an Episcopal any more."

Me: "Um... I'm pretty sure that had nothing to do with your decision to switch denominations."

Him: "Yeah... let's see. One year I gave up chewing gum."

(Me laughing uncontrollably.)

Him: "What? I really like gum."

(Me clutching my sides in agony.)

Him: "Actually, half-way through, I added sugar-free gum back in... so, really, I just gave up gum with sugar."
...

So, yeah... I got nothing. I've got a lot of spiritual stuff going on already... one more self-imposed restriction this year would have sent me over the edge. Maybe next year.

Is this a little like saying, "God, You've asked for enough. I can't give up anything else!"? Yes. I would say it's exactly like that. Whatever. It's true. I hope you appreciate the honesty. But more on this on Tuesday's blog!

I heard from three of you that you are giving up Facebook. FACEBOOK!! Wow!

(I have to say: Rachel, I was really, really tempted to try your idea!!)

LIFE

My life is now back to normal.

(This blog keeps adding weird spaces in weird places. I'm not this spacey, I promise!)

Also, I'm not running until my feet look normal again. Um. It might be a while.