I've Got Nothing to Say...

I've been thinking. (Hold on to your hats!)

I want to be an author. I've given myself until December 31, 2009 to finish my first book. ALSO, I don't even care if it's published. Every writer has that infamous first novel in a drawer. I need a novel in a drawer. I have to finish something. No more excuses!

I know you might not have been able to tell, what with the ranting about anti-organic Southerners or lilliputian, angry gym employees, but I sit and stare at this screen a couple hours a day trying to come up with something to say.

I should be spending a couple hours a day staring at the blank screen that is my novel.

So, blogging buddies. I'll still read yours. I'll still post something every other week or so. I'll be BACK after I get this novel in the drawer.

If you want to make sure I'm still alive, follow me on Twitter or Facebook. But! Yell at me if you see me on there all day. I've got work to do!

A Little Late to the Bandwagon

Well, fine, the writing of the Twilight series is terrible.

I'm still gonna watch all the movies and maybe even read the online half-finished new book, too.

Here's the one thing I need to say before normal life can resume.

Don't worship the person (or non-person?) you chose to be with. "Idols will make promises they can't keep, and take from us things we can't give." - C. Johnson. It super scares me that young girls think this is what love is like.

The whole "I'll die without you," is not the lesson you want to teach teenagers who haven't been in love yet.

And Edward is easy to worship, isn't he? He worships her back, he does nothing wrong (except for leaving once), and they will never, ever have to share a bathroom. Just sayin.

However, the more I thought through this theory of relational idolatry, I formed a second theory. Perhaps Bella doesn't worship Edward.

Maybe Bella worships... Bella.

She knew Jacob loved her. She knew she loved him, "too." She admitted she was selfish by needing to be around him, but just couldn't seem to help herself.

(Aside: And to admit she loved him? Oh. Heartbreak. I love you too, but I just had to pick somebody???)

But seriously, to cry in Edward's arms about losing Jake? Talk about a time to hide your feelings! She IS selfish. Maybe she cares about Jake, and maybe she loves Edward, but she worships herself.

Also! I finished Tess. I don't know what to say, really. I mean, classics are classics for a reason. Sometimes you just gotta wonder why.

The world is evil. Bad things happen. There is no happily ever after. (Unless you're a vampire.) There. Now you can save a few hours of your life and skip Tess of the d'Ubervilles.

Normal life in three, two, one...

Stupid Vampires

Ya'll, I'M SORRY!!

I'm almost done with book four. I'll be back with you shortly.

Note to self: must get life back!!!

Choices

"What you turn to when you are hurting... that is your savior." - Carter Johnson

Who's In Charge Here?

I am!!

That's right, kids.

I am a college professor.

What? Whadda ya mean, what?

Okokokok... fine.

I'm an adjunct instructor.

My feet have not hit the ground for the last five hours. Also, will only respond to, "Prof," for the rest of the week. Thank you for your attention.

Sweet!

Did you know?

A little after midnight was this moment: 12:34:56 7/8/9. It only happens once a century. How cool is that?!

On a Much Shallower Note...

Or

Six A.M. Is Too Early For This Conversation

Or

A Confluence of Envy Rivers

Me: "Oh, you made the lottery for the New York Marathon? That's nice.
And you are going to stay with your daughter, who lives there? That's nice.
Ya Don't say. She's a freelance writer? That's nice."

Let's Change the World, Shall We?

Or, if not change the world, perhaps start the week with little old fashioned rock and roll? This is one of my craptastic running songs.



So, I've been thinking about changing the world.

Not like the, "Maybe I should get around to that someday." More like the, "Maybe I AM changing the world every day and I better start paying attention to how I'm doing it."

How I raise these little people will matter to them forever. How I raise them will matter to whoever loves them in the future. It's this ripple effect... and it never stops. Our words, our actions... there are no small consequences.

"There are no small feelings."

I keep coming back to that. There are no small feelings here. There is nothing small about how we spend our time, who we reach. Tiny acts of compassion are not always tiny to the receiver.

I have to stop acting like there is nothing I can do about our world.


And if I believe it, I have to BELIEVE IT. It matters. "How much do you have to hate somebody... and not tell them?"


I want to go somewhere. Do something.

Maybe combine travel and changing the world? It's not much, but I'm dying to travel. I am changing the world, whether I want to or not, right? It's a start. I can start from today.

I am so doing this.