Friday, December 31, 2010
One Word 2011
I regret every decision I have ever made.
I agonize for months, then finally decide, waffle back-and-forth, decide the other thing, really, I mean it, really decide, then regret it. Forever.
Every decision is like this.
I still remember standing in the garage talking with my mom about where I should go to junior high. JUNIOR HIGH. I AM STILL THINKING ABOUT THAT DECISION!!!!
If someone asks me to do something (and this is why I stopped even looking at event invites on Facebook), I will not make a decision. I will put off thinking about it until the day of the party, and then be like, "Oh well. Guess I missed it." By not deciding, I let life decide for me, and then I A) feel guilty and B) never go anywhere or do anything.
My dear friend Alece, in lieu of resolutions, does "One Word." The idea is to have one word to think about for the year instead of a list of things to forget about by March. Last year, she picked "Risk" and wrote throughout the year how RISK changed her.
I love this idea.
And, of course, I agonized over what word to pick. I changed my mind a thousand times. However, I finally arrived on one.
My one word for 2011 is (drummmmmmrrooollllllll.....)
Having or showing the ability to make decisions quickly and effectively.
I want to learn how to fail quickly, and not wallow in misery after making mistakes. I want to learn how to forgive myself after falling. I'm a big believer in forgiveness. It's sorta a big thing for Christians. I believe God will forgive anyone who asks. I believe I can forgive anybody of anything. I have still failed to forgive myself for junior high.
I want to learn how to pick something, anything, and not lose days and weeks to the "what ifs." Life is too short for WHAT IF.
What if doesn't matter. What is, is.
What is not, is not.
The ache and the wonder and the bad decisions... those belong in my novels. They don't belong in my life.
Life is too short to agonize. Life is too short to worry about things I can no longer change. Life is too short to be indecisive.
I have made my decisions. I am sticking with them. I plan on making more.
What's your one word?