I regret every decision I have ever made.
I agonize for months, then finally decide, waffle back-and-forth, decide the other thing, really, I mean it, really decide, then regret it. Forever.
Every decision is like this.
I still remember standing in the garage talking with my mom about where I should go to junior high. JUNIOR HIGH. I AM STILL THINKING ABOUT THAT DECISION!!!!
If someone asks me to do something (and this is why I stopped even looking at event invites on Facebook), I will not make a decision. I will put off thinking about it until the day of the party, and then be like, "Oh well. Guess I missed it." By not deciding, I let life decide for me, and then I A) feel guilty and B) never go anywhere or do anything.
My dear friend Alece, in lieu of resolutions, does "One Word." The idea is to have one word to think about for the year instead of a list of things to forget about by March. Last year, she picked "Risk" and wrote throughout the year how RISK changed her.
I love this idea.
And, of course, I agonized over what word to pick. I changed my mind a thousand times. However, I finally arrived on one.
My one word for 2011 is (drummmmmmrrooollllllll.....)
DECISIVE.
ha.
Having or showing the ability to make decisions quickly and effectively.
I want to learn how to fail quickly, and not wallow in misery after making mistakes. I want to learn how to forgive myself after falling. I'm a big believer in forgiveness. It's sorta a big thing for Christians. I believe God will forgive anyone who asks. I believe I can forgive anybody of anything. I have still failed to forgive myself for junior high.
I want to learn how to pick something, anything, and not lose days and weeks to the "what ifs." Life is too short for WHAT IF.
What if doesn't matter. What is, is.
What is not, is not.
The ache and the wonder and the bad decisions... those belong in my novels. They don't belong in my life.
Life is too short to agonize. Life is too short to worry about things I can no longer change. Life is too short to be indecisive.
Decisive.
I have made my decisions. I am sticking with them. I plan on making more.
What's your one word?
Good for you. Hope you aren't waffling on your One Word. I'm sharing mine on Monday.
ReplyDeleteI'm not decisive, either. In fact, the words you wrote could easily describe me.
ReplyDeleteMy one word this year is FAITH. I need to have more of it, and trust God to handle all the things that I'm just too tired to keep handling. I'm sure I'm going to struggle with this, but I've got to try.
I LOVE this idea! I never keep resolutions I make for new years so I've stopped making them altogether. However this I can do. I'll have to think on my one word for a bit...I have one in mind but I want to make sure. Good luck with your decisiveness in 2011! You can do it! :-)
ReplyDeletethis so speaks to me, bethany. i'm VERY indecisive too. even small things, like what to eat, i find myself regretting after... always feeling like i've missed out on possibly something better.
ReplyDeletei love that you are challenging yourself so greatly with your one word choice. and your description of "failing quickly" and forgiving yourself as needed? wow, friend. so poignant. so powerful.
decisive. you've got this. and you're going to help me take steps forward in this too just because i get to journey with you this year. thank you for your sweet friendship.
I'm sure this year will be a memorable one for you as you walk the path to being 'Decisive' in all you do.
ReplyDeletePraying for you!
Happy New Year!
my background right now has the verse about letting my no be no and my yes be yes....because i am SO indecisive. working on it right there with you! this is going to be a great word! :)
ReplyDeleteI also struggle with indecision... May you be blessed with joy throughout the year with all that the word decisive teaches you!
ReplyDeleteAlida
I love your word because I regret every decision, have a replay of all my bad decisions. Here's to a new year of decisions--the good and the bad.
ReplyDeleteI love it. I'm thinking about one word now. Of course, I am also still thinking about a letter to myself. ha...maybe my word should be "Act."
ReplyDeleteI like it. Good word.
ReplyDeleteI try to be decisive. Any decision, even a bad one, is better than doing nothing.
I suppose it's a trust issue - having faith that God can fix all our mistakes, if we'll just follow him, and seek his face.
I'm cheating this year, and making my word FISH (faithful in serving HIM)
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Ok, I did it. Here.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.zizzivivizz.com/2011/01/word.html
I am loving reading these, you guys! I am so excited about this year.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great word! I bet focusing on that will make a big difference in your life! My OneWord is Brave.
ReplyDeleteAH! I am SO indecisive as well. I could list five things I still agonize over from years and years ago. I am excited to see how this shapes you this year.
ReplyDeleteoh.my.goodness, bethany.
ReplyDeleteunlike so many of your readers,
i don't struggle with decision making...
in fact, i have an opinion about
most anything
and rarely regret my decisions.
i figure, i learned something
no matter how little fun
i had following through
on my decision.
so, i have a word for the year ...
i just wish i had chosen it a few years ago!!
my word is
fellow.ship.
because my weakness is focusing on
things and my to-do list
rather than people.
so this is the year of
p.e.o.p.l.e!!
i hope you have a
wonderful year!!!!
Ooooh! DECISIVE! That is a great word.
ReplyDeleteI love how you said that by not making a decision, you have allowed life to decide for you. That is so true. I have done that more times that I care to go back and count. Scary.
My word - COURAGE
Great choice! I feel for you, I have had my share of that regret.
ReplyDeleteMy word for this year is "release."
http://onewordresolution.blogspot.com/
Oooh, I like it!
ReplyDelete