You know what I loved about Erin Brockovich? She didn't know what she was doing until she did. She saw injustice, and maybe she didn't fight it with the purest of intentions, but she fought anyway. She was fighting, not people, but faceless entities that had power and money and laws on their side.
How do you fight something that doesn't have a face?
I was in New York, living a forever dream, and all I could think about was the fact that some faceless entity had been spending the last few years quietly buying mineral rights to the entire mountain and valley that defined my childhood.
Now there's going to be a coal mine destroying every last thing I love about the hometown I came back to.
I find myself sputtering things like:
cancer. birth defects. pollution. tainted drinking supply. the tourism of the two summer camps. the value of the homes of the Norquists, and the Taylors, and the Powells, and the Cranfills. gray dust. flattened mountains.
I've lived in a coal mining town.
I don't have facts. I don't have a face to fight against. I don't have any rights to this property.
I just have enough life experience and indignant rage to tell you that this is wrong. This will destroy our community. This will change everything once and for all.
Destroying one more mountain, one more valley, MY MOUNTAIN, MY VALLEY, one more tiny town in Appalachia no one cares anything about...
They, the faceless they, can make money here, but they won't live here after HERE is destroyed.
There are a lot of great places in the world. New York is one of the greatest. This trip was amazing. If you ever want to go, we should meet there. I'm looking for all the excuses in the world to go back. My birthday was a pretty great excuse.
Now, I'm going to start looking for a new dream. I've got a few, really. It's time to narrow down and focus on one or two. I will discussing it with you, of course.
Just stopping in to say hi. Real post coming soon. It will be about New York, of course, because all things are about New York.
So, I went a little overboard with Three Things Thursday. Don't say I don't love ya!
1. This is a full-time working mom of two young children, and she still finds time to write. Like to know how?
2. I've been going crazy trying to figure out what to DO IN NEW YORK (aaaAAAAAaaaa!!!!) in the winter. The only thing I've ever wanted to do in NYC is to walk around and pretend I live there. However, I failed to get excited about doing this in February. See also: I hate A) touristy things and B) spending money. This list has been a life saver.
4. I told the Better-Half I was wearing my fuzzy slippers in NYC. "See?! See! People do that! Real people, not just the crazies!" He told me he was going to wear his track suit and tennis shoes. I am no longer wearing my fuzzy slippers in NYC.
6. Sometimes, when I'm daydreaming, I'll get on Google Maps and streetview my way around Manhattan. It is ridiculous and fun. HOWEVER. I found something even better. MapCrunch. Random. Google. Street. View. It's so awesome. No, I'm sorry. I can't come to the phone. I'm in Norway. Leave a message and I'll get back to you.
9. I've been drawn to Type-A, crazy driven people lately. I'm pretty sure that this is because if there was such a thing as Type-C I would be there, and reading passion and power makes me feel rounded up to a nice, solid Type-B. Ramit Sethi, Jen Dziura, and Nubby seem like they would never give up. Never.
10. Parks and Rec plus Downton Abby equals Downton Pawnee!!
13. Capitol Fashion! Love this Tumblr site dedicated to the fashions of the Capitol in Hunger Games.
14. Why why why am I on Pinterest?! Oh who knows. If you're into that sort of thing, find me there. I still think my tumblr page is a better representation of me. What am I saying.
16. I've been saying for ages that I would like to start a blog of lists, but Lists of Note already does it so well.
17. Planning to see some nature this summer? One of my favorite secret places is the Synchronous Fireflies in the Smokey Mountains. This is an amazing phenomenon. I don't even want to tell you because I don't want any more people to find it, but I like you too much to keep this from you.
You bring a flashlight... or a head lamp if you're a hardcore camping wannabe. (Ahem.) The park service employees give you red cellophane to cover your lights so you don't disturb the frequency (?) of the fireflies. After a brief hike into the woods, find a place to sit away from the crowds and wait. Thousand of fireflies flash at the same time. It's like watching the world's quietest lightning storm. One year I sat on the porch of an abandoned cabin, in the dark, in the woods, alone and daydreaming. I'll never forget it.
27. There's nothing about Exploding Dog I don't love.
28. This has been on this blog before, but I adore this list of songs that mentions NYC. Love love love.
29. Pretty sure Kate Spade and The Beastie Boys are firmly entrenched in "Stuff White People Like," but you should buy me these for my birthday. I've only been asking for three years. Really.
30. Why does spell check not know Beastie? Spell check... if you don't know me by now...
Because I'm going to live here for my entire life, I spend a lot of time learning to love it. I don't want to list the thousand of tiny reasons I've found, but I do want to tell you today's favorite.
What do I love about my forever small town? It's a rare and wonderful thing to know someone when they were sixteen (or twelve, or eight) and be able to see them as grown-ups.
I love seeing how people change; I love seeing how some people are exactly the same. I love knowing their stories and seeing how those stories shaped and changed lives and families across the decades.
It's like people watching, but with a time machine.
The only thing good about Valentine's Day (yes, I am Scrooge) is this song. Somewhere around 13, it attached itself to my heart in all the best possible ways.
Whether you are a Scrooge too, or love to celebrate love, wishing you a happy day.
Really. I mean that.
I hope you have a cozy winter day: lots of tea, cuddles, and cookies.
And if not, it's just one day. You can get through one day.
Tomorrow will shine a little brighter.
This has nothing to do with Valentine's Day. This is about a bigger kind of love. This is Nate, one of the students at my school. This is spoken word poetry, a forever favorite thing. He's just a kid.
(these words are homeless, so i put them all together in one post.)
i'm very much aware at how much this poor blog has lost its focus. "who am i? why am i heeeere?" that is the plaintive cry from my blog's heart. i'm aware i keep talking about myself. (ugh.) i'm aware i keep forgetting to talk about freelance life anything.
thing first: you guys, so much rejection lately. i guess maybe that means i'm trying new things? putting myself out there? i am looking forward to the day that rejection hurts less.
thing second: i keep thinking about therapy. i keep thinking about medication.
what if therapy and medication screw me up? what if giving my words to a couch, giving my feelings to a pill, takes them both away? not that i'm writing that much anyway... sometimes it seems like a whole lot of effort to act "normal" for a whole day.
thing real: the only thing i want to do? stare at a wall. maybe a window.
thing crazy: i feel like you like me more when i'm sad. like... that's when i have something to say... that's when my words resonate. i wonder if that's true. maybe just one of you liked me more when i was sad, and that was only voice i heard.
thing next: i will never again brag about being busy. it is no longer a point of pride. i quit things. i identified a thing i am quitting after this semester. i will never, ever, ever again be happy about being busy.
slow. sitting. nothing. i am desperate for space in my heart, mind, and life, and i do not like the choices that led to this state of constant motion.
thing another: reader's digest said this: "depressives tend to be more in touch with the deeper truths about themselves, life, and the human experience." i don't ever want to be be all-the-way-better, because i want this to always be true.
thing on the other hand: i want to be well.
thing i can't won't say:
thing i will say: hey.
thing true: my friends have been saying, "you ARE coming back from nyc, right?"
thing new true: i might hate the city. i'm giving myself permission to change my mind. but i won't.
thing seventh grade judge-y: there was a boy, beautiful, beautiful boy, i briefly had a crush on in junior high. he visited a sibling in (city redacted.) he came back talking about how much he hated it and how the big city was dirty. i decided, with every fiber of my being, that he was not the one for me. instantly.
I have an assignment due in two hours, so I'm just gonna writethisreallyreallyquickly. Argh!
Ever wonder what a freelance life looks like?
I'm an adjunct instructor.
My classes are being phased out, so I'm in grad school so I can keep teaching.
I teach Pilates so I can get a free gym membership.
I'm a musician in a college musical so I can have a little extra spending money.
I have a part-time day job (that I accidentally fell in love with) that pays a few bills.
Let's talk about how to fit writing into a life that looks like that (because I have a feeling your life may look a similar.)
Volunteer to write. All the time. Tell your boss the website needs updating. Offer to start a blog. Offer to write a newsletter. Any time any tiny thing needs to be written, ask if you can write it, or write it anyway and ask if it's something they can use.
Two different people asked me to write little things at work yesterday, and I know they could have done it just as well as I could have done it, but I seriously adore being asked. My day gets quite fun when I can write for a living.
Keep writing. Keep telling people you're a writer. Keep offering to do it at your day job. Never freelance anything for free. (You are worth more than free, believe me.)
