THE BOOK

Seriously. Keep asking about THE BOOK. It keeps me honest.

"As soon as the marathon is over, I'm going to finish THE BOOK in the month and a half left in 2009."

THE BOOK is on THAT computer. (Insert power cord incident.) Now, THAT computer will not wake up.

I do have the book saved in an online program, but THIS computer does not have Word.

(I realized that this is a modern era and really I should have figured out a solution by now, but I. just. didn't.)

The grand plan was to do a NaNoWriMo, but a month after everybody else, because I was busy running.

And then the power cord incident happened.

I let EXCUSES TAKE OVER.

It is so embarrassing even writing this, because I hate feeling this unprofessional and basket-case-y.

Eh. It's the new (honest) me.

Running a marathon was a BIG DEAL on my life list, but this book seems like the ultimate unattainable goal. When it came to a marathon, I was like, "It's just running. Yeah, I can do that."

FINISHING THE BOOK SEEMS MUCH, MUCH HARDER.

P.S. The power cord has been ordered. If this doesn't fix it, I'm gonna hurt somebody. I don't know if this should change the deadline? A week or two for technical difficulties?

P.S. 2 My running buddies just gave me a time goal for my next half marathon. So, writing buddies, what should my time goal be for finishing this first (half-done) draft?

Three Things Thursday: Mental Health Edition

1. I'm having an identity crisis. Still. Every day I think the following:

... Oh, forget it. I'm not going to tell you what I think because I really THINK THE OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING I THINK.

I do believe to told someone I was excited about Christmas, and told someone else I am a Scroogette... oh, about thirty seconds apart.

Loony bin.

2. I'm getting observed next Tuesday. The fact that I have never had an education class only occurs to me the week before observations.

3. While I still had the Anti-Stalker-Stalker-Stat-Counter Thing, I said something very REAL and PERSONAL and EMBARRASSING on someone else's blog. Later that day, I had all kinds of readers from that blog.

I thought, "I don't know what you are looking for. I don't have any answers. That is why I just made a giant fool of myself on somebody ELSE'S blog. Don't come over here looking for wisdom."

Because I am really OppositeWoman, two seconds later I was all like, "Well, why not? What is so frightening about being real? I have no idea who I am. Who I am will be different in a minute or two anyway."

Things like Post Secret and Anne Jackson's, Permission to Speak Freely, are popular for a reason. People LOVE secrets. The cliche about secrets is that they are only a big deal A) to us and B) if left unsaid.

Cliches are cliches for a reason.

I am rambling.

The point here is that I saw the power of honesty that day. I am searching for more of that.

WHAT ARE YOUR THREE THINGS?

Free Money?

Yes! Free Money!

Hey, Chattanooga. Julianne over at Another Gray Hair is giving away a $50 gift certificate from the new Earth Fare!

Check it out!

Epic Tale of the Marathon

This morning, the better-half said, "Oh man! I'm really sore from the (looks at me) lunges I did... (trailing off) ... yesterday." I am pretty sure I threw something at him. Wait! I'm getting ahead of myself.

It all started yesterday at 4:00 AM. The big kid came in and said he had a sore throat. We sent him back to bed with a cough drop, but it turned out to be less of a sore throat, and more of a STOMACH VIRUS. uuuuuuggghhhh.

I happen to be married to the best man alive, (despite the complaining of sore lunge-y muscles), who got up and changed sheets and let me sleep!

OK. I didn't really sleep. I mean, your kid is throwing up, and you are Mom, you are AWAKE, you know? I'm awful. I pretended to sleep.

SORRY for all the throw-up talk. Gah.

My friend Claudia, (who I am just using for rides because she has SEAT WARMERS and this is big deal if you are a runner), (Not really. I really love her. But I love her seat warmers, too.) picked me up at 5:30 ish, and we sleep-drove our way to the race course.

After getting our "free" t-shirts, race numbers, and timing chips, we wandered around looking for every body else we knew. There were about ten of us from our town, and we all trained with or around each other.

We finally gave up any hope of finding anybody, but as we lined up, we happened to line up next to Cindy! Yay, friend!

Cindy said, "Cannon."

We said, "What?"

BOOM! A Civil War cannon started the race. Everybody screamed. I mean. A cannon? Are you trying to kill people with heart attacks before we even start?! OK, yes, I screamed too.

Somebody jokingly said, "Hey, Bethany has a sign." I look over and see this.

I ran over and hugged the sign holder.

Cindy and Claudia thought I was a crazy girl. "Do you know her?"

Yes! It was Marcie!! Yay, friend! (SHE TOOK ALL THESE PICTURES! AREN'T THEY GREAT?!) And, now she's famous against her will. bwahhahaaa. She is a friend of a decade (how can that be?) and a fan of the blog.

As I ran around the loop, she snapped this picture. Still insanely happy. It had only been a mile.

Somewhere after the first mile, we ran into (not literally) one of my writer-y types, Michelle. Yay, friend! I'm pretty sure we annoyed everyone behind us who tried to pass the four girls running together. I didn't even care. It was going to be a long day, and I wanted to be with my peeps!

Before I could get some decent complaining going, my course veered away from theirs. They had trained for the half. My friend Danielle, who was doing the full marathon, was an hour in front of me. (How depressing is that?) I had planned on doing the first thirteen with friends, but the course was not designed that way, so I was alone WAY earlier than I wanted.

For the rest of the way, it was just me and Santigold. And the Beastie Boys. Don't judge.

The beautiful scenery helped.

I was surviving until mile 18.

At mile 18, I wanted to die. My body was screaming for me to quit.

BUT I DIDN'T!

The farthest I had run before was twenty miles. When I hit 21, I did a little dance (on the inside, of course.) Wow! I've never done this before.

The same thing happened at 22. 23. 24. I was so excited to see all these big numbers that I was not sure I could ever hit.

After 24 though, I wanted to die again. Somewhere around there, I met Kim. We had been together the whole day, and finally introduced ourselves, and stuck together to the end.

At one point she said, "Wanna walk?"

"Sure," I said, relieved.

"I love you."

Somehow, I was still able to laugh.

At the last mile, I saw my family!

The big kid, (who threw up AGAIN in the car that morning) (FOR REAL? MY HUSBAND IS A SAINT) ran across the finish line with me.

I FINISHED A MARATHON!! I RAN 26.2 MILES!!!

It took a little more than 5 and 1/2 hours, but it was AMAZING.

At the end, I got to see Danielle and Marcie and that helped me forget about the pain.

I started running last September. I did my first half-marathon in February. I accomplished a lot in a year, and even though my time wasn't super-great, I am super-proud of myself.

If you want to do one with me, try this program. However. It might be a long, long time until I join you.

Three Things Thursday: What No One Ever Tells You About Distance Running

1. Buy it. Use it. Don't ask questions.

2. The very cute black and purple toenail polish? It's not because it's in season for fall. It's so all my toes match. While other (smart) runners will be spending their hard earned post-race cash on a massage, I (shallow) will be spending large amounts on pedicures.

3. The first mile is the worst. Always. It doesn't matter how far I can run, or what kind of shape I'm in. I am miserable until mile three.

IT'S THREE THINGS THURSDAY! What are your three things?

Make it: anonymous, real, silly, confessional, thoughts, hopes, dreams, or candy. Ready... GO!

This Week With Bethany's Freelance Life...

This week with Bethany's Freelance Life, (said with my best George Stephanopoulos voice), I'll be sleeping. Yes, that's right, sleeping.

MY FIRST MARATHON IS IN FIVE DAYS. *please ignore panic attack*

You know what I didn't understand about marathon training?

I didn't understand how much I would have to give up.

I didn't understand that I couldn't go out with my girlfriends on Friday nights because I had a long run at 5:00AM the next day. I didn't understand that my body would need ten hours of sleep (instead of my normal five.) I didn't understand how my house would suffer, my writing would suffer, my social life would suffer. I didn't understand I would have to say, "No," to many fun and good things because I. Just. Couldn't.

No matter if I ever do this again, I learned something I plan on bringing over to my writing career.

Giving up.

I am going to lose some quality TV time. My Twitter account is going to suffer. I may go back to five hours of sleep, just to fit in face time in front of this screen.

If I want to reach this goal of finishing this book, I HAVE TO GIVE UP. I can't raise these children, teach these big children, have a path through the living room, finish writing a book, and watch every Glee episode. Something (ahem) has to get dropped.

Check back Thursday for Three Things Thursday.

Monday morning, I go back to being a normal writer who runs three miles for fun just like ALL YA'LLS DOCTORS say to. Seriously. I mean it. Go run. (Just don't get carried away like I did.)

See you Thursday.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP?

Three Things Thursday

NEW THING!

I want to hear three things.

Are you: Recently thinking? Feeling thankful? Becoming thin? Always thirsty? Needing therapy?

Name three things. Make it random, make it silly, make it confessional, make it up, make it real.

Here's mine:

1. After a decade of tears, Dave Ramsey, late fees and bounced checks, we have lived on a budget for exactly two weeks. TWO WHOLE WEEKS OF AGREEMENT. This is big, people.

2. My writing career, as far as I can see the into future, is always going to include teaching the craft of writing. I love it. LOVE IT.

3. I took off my anti-stalker / stalker thing because I checked it every twenty minutes. Thanks for reading! I love you. I was a crazy person. I feel a thousand pounds lighter. What am I going to do with all the free time?

Me Too! A Confession

I suffer from Me-Too-itis. If you have a concern, a belief, a favorite fill-in-the-blank, chances are, I will, "too."

It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it is true or good. I just happen to agree. With EVERYONE.

Yesterday, I noticed someone's Facebook status-thing-a-ma-jiggy said, "Atheist." What was my first thought? "Yeah, I'm with ya."

Anyone who has known me for more than ten minutes know I'm not an atheist. When I'm mad at God, when I hate God, when I think we've got it all wrong about who He really is, even when I am ready to throw it all away, I don't doubt He's up there.

I don't doubt He's down here.

For that brief second, though, I was ready to agree with a near-stranger who I haven't talked to in a decade.

What is WRONG with me?

I have listened to your music, followed your hobbies, read your books, watched your teevee shows, bought your movies, thumbed through your magazines.

Most of these things aren't necessarily, "bad." They are just a symptom of something...um... pathetic.

I am too old for peer pressure.

Do you agree with everyone? Do you hear a different drummer?

Hey, Hey, Hey!

According to Danielle's blog, the marathon is 16 days away! Yikes! Honestly, I'm sooooo ready to have it over with! The tapering (resting up) is underway. I must admit this is my favorite part of marathon training. (Lazy much?)

Anywho, after the crazy racing (5 1/2 hours will not be much of a "race," but whatevs), I'll be back to blogging.

What would you like to see?

More writing?

More running?

More books?

More, "My, how fantastic are YOU?"

More confessions?

More... whining because I don't live in NYC, but am really content... really. I mean it. Content.?

This is your chance to get a tailor-made blog! Readddyyyy...Go!

Top Ten Ways You Are Awesome

Here's what I love (deal with it) about you:

1. You read the blog. My blog! Really, it's the first step to all good things.

2. You are forgiven.

3. You are a saint, holy and beloved.

4. You are loved, since the dawn of time, loved.

5. You are the only one of you.

6. You are a child of the King!

7. You, even when you are messy and broken, are made in the image of the everlasting God.

8. The fact that you ARE messy and broken, means I am a little glad I'm not alone in my messes. So, uh, thanks for being so screwed up sometimes.

9. You are not alone.

10. You change every single thing. You show me how to escape my very narrow view of my very narrow world. You open my eyes, show me what compassion means, wake me up. You are very different from me, and that is all kinds of awesome.

How else are you awesome? Count the ways...

High Culture and Fancy Book Learnin'

Yesterday, the fam spent (nay, invested!) a day at Woodruff Arts Center in Atlanta. We had a few hours at the High Museum of Art, studying da Vinci and Monet. We heard the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra.

I've spent nearly every waking hour this week thinking about the arts. And then! After all those thoughts of creating and learning and growing and doing, the day was exactly what I needed. It was family day, but I'm pretty sure I enjoyed it more than the kids did.

I'm not gonna lie. It was not perfect. It's difficult keeping two-year-old climbers off 18th century chairs. Also, during Grieg's "Morning Mood," the big kid yelled, "Hey!! Mom! This is that song from Little Einsteins!"

THE ARTS are such a big part of who I am. They're my career, my hobby, and my community. My people. I have failed in sharing this with my children and yesterday was a big step in the right direction.

I am learning to love Mayberry, but this day, my favorite day, was a city fix in the best sense. Today, I am content.

i thank you God for most this amazing...

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

ee cummings

Today

Stolen from Keri. Thanks, Keri! I really like it when she does these. Also, Marcie yelled at me to write something, so this one's for the girls.

Outside My Window...
I hear a train. A dog. It's misty and fall and two-thirty in the morning and I feel like I'm the only one in the whole world who is still awake.

I am thinking...
Oh so much. Too much. I think I've spent a lot of years being angry at God for things that may or may not have been His fault, and I'm having a hard time a) being angry (because angry is bad, yo), b) redirecting the anger toward somebody who deserves it, and c) figuring out why I'm mad to begin with. It's a vicious cycle of crazy.

I am thankful for...
You.

From the kitchen...
Today was dollar sushi day, so my kitchen is blissfully free of dishes. This morning, though, there was coffee and bacon and blueberry pancakes.

I am wearing...
HA! If I remembered this question was here, I would have skipped this exercise. I'm wearing an outfit I won't ever let anybody see. If I was dying, I would change first. I'm wearing fuzzy slippers, yoga pants, New York t-shirt, and hoodie. It looks much worse than it sounds. That's saying something.

I am creating...
Crushed spirits via the student papers I'm grading.

I am going...
nowhere. *sigh*

I am reading...
papers mentioned above.

I am hoping...
that I don't die in this marathon.

I am hearing...
click, click, click of the keyboard.

Around the house...
socks. shoes. toys. Somebody better tell these kids... oh, wait. All this stuff is mine.

One of my favorite things...
is chai. It's fall. Actually, fall is one of my favorite things.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...
Find sleep. Do class work before the rooster crows. Play dates. Run. Run some more. Babysit the best baby ever. Birthdays.

Random

Hey! Long time no talk. I'm running out the door, but I wanted to let you know about the new blog on the List O' Blogs. Her name is Sarah Markley. Click over. Read her story. It's a great story.

Let's catch up soon!

Oh! Before I go, have you seen this? Isn't this just the best?